Formals

Intro

Formals are a prime example of Durham’s archaic traditions. Often inaccessible to working class students, they thankfully aren’t compulsory, though being unable to attend them can lead to feelings of exclusion. Even if you don’t go often, chances are you’ll end up attending at least one formal in your time at Durham, so here are some tips on how to survive them:

Clothing

Gowns

Some colleges are ‘gowned’, meaning you need to wear a gown to formals. If you’re at a gowned college, chances are you’ve had to buy a gown already, whether for full price or at a reduced price if your college resells second-hand gowns. If your college isn’t gowned, but you’d like to attend a formal at a friend’s gowned college, you have a couple of options. You may be able to borrow a gown from a friend in another gowned college, as long as they’re not attending the same formal, or you may be able to borrow a gown from WCSA. We have a few gowns that we’re happy to loan out to students who want to attend gowned formals, as you can’t always find a friend to borrow one from. If you’d like to know more, chat to an exec member at one of our events or message our Facebook page.

Formal wear

Formal wear (suits and dresses) can get expensive. If you prefer suits, it’s easy to get away with only having one that you wear to all events. If you prefer dresses, you may feel pressured to avoid re-wearing the same dress for multiple events. If this is the case, please don’t worry. No-one will notice, and even if they do, they certainly won’t say anything about it. Durham has a lot of formal events, so many that no one can be expected to have a new outfit for every one. But even if you only need one or two outfits, formal wear can still be expensive.Though availability can be patchy, don’t be afraid of searching through Durham’s charity shops, or hopping on the X12 to Newcastle and looking through the wider range there. You can find some absolute gems this way, and at a fraction of their original price. But if you don’t find anything, we may be able to help. We have a small selection of formal wear that we’re happy to loan out to students. If you’d like to know more, chat to an exec member at one of our events or message our Facebook page.

Fancy dress

Some colleges hold fancy dress formals, where the usual suits and gowns are cast aside in favour of themed costumes. Though they can feel a little less alienating than traditional formals, finding a new costume for every formal’s theme can get expensive. Again, it’s worth searching through charity shops, or trying out do-it-yourself costumes, so that you don’t have to break the bank.

Traditions

Traditions vary wildly across colleges. Many colleges require you to stand as ‘high table’ (college staff and their guests) walk in, and if your college still says grace (a prayer before the meal starts, which could be in Latin or English) you may be required to stand for that too. Some colleges don’t allow students to leave the room or even stand after the meal has started, whereas others are far more relaxed. If you’d like to know ahead of time what your college’s traditions for, you can ask a second or third year student, or a member of your college’s exec. Whatever strange traditions your college has, please remember that you do not have to participate in them if you don’t feel comfortable doing so. Formals are about tradition, but that tradition shouldn’t make you feel unwelcome.

Respect

Look, you’re all adults now. Though you may not know exactly how to behave at formals, you should know to treat those around you with respect. Formals tend to involve alcohol, which makes many students forget about the need for respect, be it for themselves, their fellow students, or the kitchen staff serving the meal. By maintaining this respect, you set a good example to other students, and you make a better environment for those attending or working at the formal. The people serving your meal are not paid enough to put up with as much as they do. Please show them the respect they more than deserve.

Whether or not you attend formals is up to you. Some choose to boycott them, others choose to spend their hard earned cash on less formal nights out, and some people go to every formal they can. You’re not classist for going, but you don’t have to go if you can’t/don’t want to. However you choose to spend your free time at Durham, just try to enjoy yourself and unwind - you deserve it!

Frank Simpson (2019), based on original work by Declan Merrington and Amie Key (2018)